What's All the Stink About?

The odd gas smell has most New Yorkers concerned. Not Mayor Bloomberg, who brushes it off, "It's just a case of gas, nothing to worry about."

Many headlines say "Gas-Like Odor Worries Workers Across NYC." I love this because it makes me wonder if people not working are sniffing around thinking, "What's that? Awe, screw it, it's my day off, I'm fine."

Some New Yorkers might have flashbacks to the mystery maple syrup smell of 2005. But it reminds me of what happened yesterday on the 3 train.

I was standing at a crowded platform when a packed three train pulled up. I noticed one empty car, so I ran and jumped on it along with a few other people. As soon as I was about four steps in the car, I must have inhaled. I can't describe the smell in words and do it justice, but it did activate my gag reflex and my lungs locked up refusing to let any more air in. It's the kind of smell there should be laws against.

I ran to the doors as they slammed shut, trapping me in the moving stink-mobile. I ran left, the other passengers ran right. I almost tripped over a giant homeless guy brewing in his own stew as I fought my way out of the car and onto the next. Gasping for air and fighting with the door, I was greeted with giggles, smiles and one guy laughing his ass off. I heard someone say, "Damn, peoples gettin' outta there like there's a fire or somethin'... like a fire in your nose!" And everyone howled.

That wasn't the funny part. The funny part was the anticipation in the train at each stop, as everyone leaned in to watch through the glass window as passengers got on the skunky car. It was the same thing at each stop. Passengers would take three to five steps in, get wide-eyed, look disoriented for a second or two, then cover their nose and race for a door.